Slow down, sugar, I'm a diabetic.

and our fingers; they almost touched.

davidcookruinedmylife:

you know how i know you’re gay david cook has ruined my life?

it’s gotten to the point that i can no longer distinguish between shit that i thought about/wished for or shit that actually happened.

if you follow me on twitter, maybe the other day you saw my tweet, in which i said:

ok i just woke up completely convinced that @thedavidcook kissed a dude on stage at some point. did i *dream* that? i think i did. uh, right?

now, the thing is, someone should remember an occurrence like that. it shouldn’t be confusing. like, i know that ryan star kissed him in little rock (as all my friends reminded me) but i was remembering (or, uh, “remembering”) seeing a photo in which dave and some dude were in an actual liplock on stage. obviously i should’ve known it wasn’t true because it wasn’t neal (i’m just saying, if it happened, CLEARLY IT WOULD BE NEAL), but i honestly wasn’t sure.

i gave it some thought, and i realized that the REASON i had that dream (other than it just being hot, thanks subconscious) is that the night before, dave had tweeted at eliza dushku, currently of dollhouse and who, at one time, played a character named faith on buffy the vampire slayer. which reminded me of a fanfic i’d read (shut UP) ages ago in which david and faith had hot sex and saved the world. it was awesome.

around that same time, i read a different fanfic (seriously, bite me) in which david, for some reason, played with green day on some awards show, and billie joe kissed him before they played “longview.” (which, if you know that song: appropriate!)

anyway, i think that’s what got it into my head. the fact that i didn’t know if it was real, however, is another story. i’m happy to say, tho, that i’ve decided that the confusion isn’t my fault. guess whose fault it is?

in fight club, tyler durden tells us “it’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.”

by that logic, since david cook ruined my life, anything is possible.

therefore, how can i blamed for thinking he’d indulged in a random onstage makeout with some dude? i cannot. his fault, as per usual! suck it, cook! (or at least make out with it. “it” being your guitarist.)

OR AT LEAST MAKE OUT WITH IT. IT BEING YOUR GUITARIST. THIS THO.